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Enough to Die For

I've spoken before about how, more frequently than not, I've never felt worthy of love.  It feels weird and a little wrong when people want to celebrate me, not like an accomplishment like a graduation, but just me.  Like on my birthday, or when my parents still do loving, generous things.  Not because I can't do it for myself, but simply because they love me.

In a Bible study course I took a few years ago, our facilitator said that even if we were the only person on this earth, God still would have sent his only son Jesus to die for us on the cross.  I really struggled with that for a long time.  I couldn't believe that God looked at me any differently, than I thought others looked at me... like a troublesome child.  Like, someone you just have to deal with, until you can get away from them.

I realized that I've never felt worthy of love, because I've never felt like I was doing anything to warrant this love.  Sure, when I graduated college, I wanted to celebrate in a big way.  I had worked hard for four years, and I had this degree to show for it.  But, it wasn't until the last few years, when I've really started to improve myself, and now even more so, that I'm actively pursuing God, have I felt like these words might actually be true.

If I were a parent, I would never be able to send my only child off to be killed, just to show a group of people that I love them.  That is some seriously big love!

"God has shown we are worthy of love, by sending his only son to die on the cross."


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