Skip to main content

I Am Not A Victim

A week or so ago, I had an "aha!" moment.  I realized that when it came to taking vacation time at work, I was playing the victim.  I would not take time off when I could, and would say it's because I felt bad that I was leaving work for others to do while I was away.  That point isn't untrue, but I also recognize there's that side of me that was angry that so much seems to fall on my plate.  I was also being prideful, because when I did have the opportunity or was encouraged to take a day off, I would think, "Don't do me any favors!"  Or, "Gee a day off mid-week... Thanks a lot!" 

Ugh.  So bad.  So immature!

I have been angry because I haven't been getting my way.  I started to list all the reasons out, but it's just ridiculous what I wanted, and thought I deserved.

Even though I've been feeling like the victim because one thing or another doesn't seem fair, it in no way means I'm actually a victim. 

Thinking the world is fair, is a child-like way of thinking.  The world isn't fair.  I know this.  I've heard the saying "life isn't fair" a million times over the years.  And yet, I was getting angry, bitter, and thought I was a victim to this cruel, cruel world, forever suffering at the hands of those around me. 

Poor me!  Feel sorry for me!!

Ew.

So, even though it felt unnatural, I blocked some time on the calendar for the end of the month.  Now I just have to figure out what I'm going to do with it!

I realized that I haven't been taking responsibility for my own happiness.  I have no doubt that I'll see more and more ways that I've been playing the victim, and not realizing it.  Even as I write this, I'm starting to see flashes of instances of when I thought I was the victim.  When I thought things should be fair, or should bend to my taste or needs.   

I am not powerless.  Life is not something that is happening to me. 

I actually found this article incredibly helpful.  Albeit, it was a little hard to read.  It was kind of like looking into a mirror.  And, I did not like what was staring back at me.

So now, when I notice my thoughts turn towards a self-victimization way of thinking, I put a stop to it immediately.  I'm not even entertaining those thoughts anymore. 





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Happy April Fools' Day!

I'm not a very creative person, and have never come up with something truly funny to do to my friends, family, or any roommates I've had over the years.  Maybe one day I'll be able to put some of the ideas below to good use.  Until then... these are just amusing.

There is No Gain Without Struggle

We all struggle with something.  In our moments of struggle, it's impossible to think that other people could possibly be feeling the same hurt, frustration, and loneliness we are.  Remember you are not alone.  Struggling is a part of being human.  Without it, we would not appreciate the good things that we have.  Today, recognize that without struggle, we are not driven to be better.  You are better today, than you were yesterday.  Just keep going!  Keep taking steps every day to work towards your goals of personal development. 

Embrace Being Uncomfortable

We’ve all heard it before, “ Life isn’t always comfortable.”   Even if the change is a positive one, like eating healthier… it’s still not comfortable.     I’m in the process of buying my first home, and while I’m so happy and excited, I’m also really nervous and scared.   I would like to think I’m ready for the additional challenges and responsibilities of owning my own home.   But, what if I’m not?   Big life changes can be really nerve-racking!   But, I’m finding familiarity with being uncomfortable.   And, I actually take that to be a good thing.     If we get too comfortable, there is no growth, and if there is no growth, then we are just slowly dying. So, this week, embrace being a little uncomfortable.   It’s how you know you’re changing!