Sometimes self-reflection, and learning about oneself can seem so overwhelming! I've been feeling that way over the last couple of days. It can feel like it's just "too much," and I have this desire to pull away from everyone. To go into a dark quiet place, literally and figuratively, until I've relaxed and regrouped enough to start again. I think that's why in the past I've wanted to go away to a cabin in the woods, where I don't have to speak to or see anyone.
But, once I recognized what I was feeling and why I was feeling it, I paused. I gave myself a hug, had a good long ugly cry, told myself it will be ok, and I'm pushing on. This is all part of the growth process. It can be so painful and overwhelming. But, going through it will only make me stronger.
After reading Love and Respect, I wanted to come up with some additional ways to show respect to the men in my life. The book already highlights some really great ways to show respect, including appreciating our spouses natural male or female abilities.
Unfortunately, even if I try super hard to show respect in every way possible, there will always be something I'm doing that is disrespectful to others. Something that I don't even think twice about, or consider to be disrespectful. So, I decided to try to find as many ways possible to show respect to others. Some I took from the Internet, but others, I actually looked at some of the ways I feel like others are disrespectful to me. Now, I'm not pointing fingers. But, I would hate to be the hypocrite that criticizes others, when I'm doing the exact same thing!
Being Unresponsive. One of my biggest pet peeves, is when people are unresponsive, particularly with text messages. When it comes to emails or phone calls, I'm more understanding. You have to carve out time to talk or write an email. But texts? They take seconds. So, I'm determined to answer all texts as soon as I can get to them. Even if I text back that I'm too busy to chat at the moment. At least the other person isn't sitting on the other end thinking I'm ignoring them, and that I don't care.
Tone of Voice. It's really not difficult for anyone to determine my mood, simply by how I speak. Even if the words I'm carefully choosing are kind, my tone would suggest that I'm probably annoyed, irritated, frustrated, or down right pissed off. The goal here is not to cover up my feelings, or be fake. What I'd like to figure out, is how I can somehow acknowledge when I'm frustrated, and actually find a way to be helpful in finding a solution, without making those I'm working with miserable in the process.
Avoid Eye-Rolling and giving "The Look." It's actually pretty fortunate for me that the majority of my relationship with my ex was on the phone, because oh, the looks I gave him! It was in no way respectful. If someone is taking the time to tell you something, you should listen. I know that if I take the time to tell something to someone, it's important to me.
Being consistent. Everyone will experience disappointment in some point in their lives from the people they love, and who love them in return. Something that I'm not always good with, is being consistent. If I get let down a few too many times, I immediately pull away. I assume the other person doesn't care, so why should I? Something I've learned is how important it is to be consistent. I want to be someone others can count on, even if they have to cancel plans or tell me something I may not like. No one wants to be with someone who is all over the place.
But, once I recognized what I was feeling and why I was feeling it, I paused. I gave myself a hug, had a good long ugly cry, told myself it will be ok, and I'm pushing on. This is all part of the growth process. It can be so painful and overwhelming. But, going through it will only make me stronger.
After reading Love and Respect, I wanted to come up with some additional ways to show respect to the men in my life. The book already highlights some really great ways to show respect, including appreciating our spouses natural male or female abilities.
Unfortunately, even if I try super hard to show respect in every way possible, there will always be something I'm doing that is disrespectful to others. Something that I don't even think twice about, or consider to be disrespectful. So, I decided to try to find as many ways possible to show respect to others. Some I took from the Internet, but others, I actually looked at some of the ways I feel like others are disrespectful to me. Now, I'm not pointing fingers. But, I would hate to be the hypocrite that criticizes others, when I'm doing the exact same thing!
Being Unresponsive. One of my biggest pet peeves, is when people are unresponsive, particularly with text messages. When it comes to emails or phone calls, I'm more understanding. You have to carve out time to talk or write an email. But texts? They take seconds. So, I'm determined to answer all texts as soon as I can get to them. Even if I text back that I'm too busy to chat at the moment. At least the other person isn't sitting on the other end thinking I'm ignoring them, and that I don't care.
Tone of Voice. It's really not difficult for anyone to determine my mood, simply by how I speak. Even if the words I'm carefully choosing are kind, my tone would suggest that I'm probably annoyed, irritated, frustrated, or down right pissed off. The goal here is not to cover up my feelings, or be fake. What I'd like to figure out, is how I can somehow acknowledge when I'm frustrated, and actually find a way to be helpful in finding a solution, without making those I'm working with miserable in the process.
Avoid Eye-Rolling and giving "The Look." It's actually pretty fortunate for me that the majority of my relationship with my ex was on the phone, because oh, the looks I gave him! It was in no way respectful. If someone is taking the time to tell you something, you should listen. I know that if I take the time to tell something to someone, it's important to me.
Being consistent. Everyone will experience disappointment in some point in their lives from the people they love, and who love them in return. Something that I'm not always good with, is being consistent. If I get let down a few too many times, I immediately pull away. I assume the other person doesn't care, so why should I? Something I've learned is how important it is to be consistent. I want to be someone others can count on, even if they have to cancel plans or tell me something I may not like. No one wants to be with someone who is all over the place.
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