I had a bit of a revelation moment this past week, and I
wanted to share my experience with you. I’ve
been working through the Beautiful You program, developed by Dr. Melody Stevens. And, within this program, she really does a
great job of helping you to identify your true goals, and asking tons of
questions to help identify where your sticking points are. You can then deal with the things that are
holding you back, and really live a beautiful and fulfilled life.
Ok… confession time.
*Deep breath*
For a number of years, my goal has to been to be good enough
to earn the love of a man. To be good
enough that someone will think I was the type of woman that would make a good wife,
and possibly a mother. In working
through the program (I’m only about 40% of the way through), I asked myself why
people in general need to feel loved.
And, why do I need to feel loved?
I asked Google, and I have to tell you, that it’s not a simple black and
white answer. But, there was one article
in Psychology Today that really spoke to me.
And, it describes a study that proves that people not only need to feel
loved, but also equally need to give love.
I wrote this down this quote in my journal. It was just so eye opening!
In our pursuit of the need to be loved, most of us fail to recognize that we have a parallel need: the need to love and care for others. This desire, it turns out, is just as strong as the need to be loved and nurtured.
So, there you have it.
In learning this, I also realized that my stance on feeling
loved was a selfish one. I have been way
too focused on what I was receiving from others. And, let’s be honest, even if my goal wasn’t
a selfish one, I can still never control how other people feel about me. So, my goal was based on other people, which makes
it feel really unattainable. No wonder I
didn’t feel in control of my life! Now
my new goal, is to find ways to give love to others. I can’t even describe to you, the weight that
has been lifted from my heart. I feel so
happy to have figured out a way to live a happier and more fulfilled life. :)
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