The Need to Give Love

I had a bit of a revelation moment this past week, and I wanted to share my experience with you.  I’ve been working through the Beautiful You program, developed by Dr. Melody Stevens.  And, within this program, she really does a great job of helping you to identify your true goals, and asking tons of questions to help identify where your sticking points are.  You can then deal with the things that are holding you back, and really live a beautiful and fulfilled life. 

Ok… confession time.

*Deep breath*

For a number of years, my goal has to been to be good enough to earn the love of a man.  To be good enough that someone will think I was the type of woman that would make a good wife, and possibly a mother.  In working through the program (I’m only about 40% of the way through), I asked myself why people in general need to feel loved.  And, why do I need to feel loved?  I asked Google, and I have to tell you, that it’s not a simple black and white answer.  But, there was one article in Psychology Today that really spoke to me.  And, it describes a study that proves that people not only need to feel loved, but also equally need to give love. 

I wrote this down this quote in my journal.  It was just so eye opening! 

In our pursuit of the need to be loved, most of us fail to recognize that we have a parallel need: the need to love and care for others.  This desire, it turns out, is just as strong as the need to be loved and nurtured.

So, there you have it.

In learning this, I also realized that my stance on feeling loved was a selfish one.  I have been way too focused on what I was receiving from others.  And, let’s be honest, even if my goal wasn’t a selfish one, I can still never control how other people feel about me.  So, my goal was based on other people, which makes it feel really unattainable.  No wonder I didn’t feel in control of my life!  Now my new goal, is to find ways to give love to others.  I can’t even describe to you, the weight that has been lifted from my heart.  I feel so happy to have figured out a way to live a happier and more fulfilled life.  :)