Do Something For You

I may be way off base here.  But, it seems to me, that unless I fill some of my own needs, I really can’t unconditionally be there for others. 

 

This thought dawned on me, after realizing that one of the reasons I crave eating out so often, is because I feel taken care of when I do. 

 

Lately, I feel like certain people in my life just use me, and I’m being taken advantage of, particularly at work.  And because of this, I’ve naturally just wanted to withdrawal and hide away from everyone.  What’s worse is that I’ve resented some people for a very long time because, it would seem like they’re making things harder than they need to be, not appreciating what I’m doing, or not reciprocating in the way I wished they would.  For obvious reasons, this is not a good mentality to have.

While I do enjoy a night or weekend in, it’s ultimately not the type of person I want to be.  I’m so tired of feeling worn down and exhausted after spending time with other people.  Nor do I want to be the type of person that gives to others, with the expectation that I’ll receive something back in the future.  I figure, as long as I don’t pursue pleasure above more important things, then there shouldn’t be in issue with enjoying some of what life has to offer, right?

I imagine that my needs will change over time, and in different seasons of my life, but at the moment what I am craving are things that you get to do when you’re dating someone.  I’m craving that feeling of someone thinking you’re beautiful, and being desired.  So, some of the things I’ve come up with are tailored more to that direction.

Buy or plant some flowers.

I’ve never been one to buy myself flowers.  Not because I disagree with it, I’d just rather spend my money on other things.  So, my mission this weekend is to clear my flower bed of all the weeds I’ve let grow over the last 6 weeks, and plant some flowers.  Once they bloom, I’ll be able to cut a few and enjoy some indoors.

Do a face mask.

I love a good face mask, and for a while, doing a face mask was my Friday evening ritual.  Unfortunately, I've gotten away from the habit lately.  I find a plain and simple honey mask to be super amazing.  And, I’m looking forward to trying some different masks to help remove the peach fuzz from my cheeks.  Particularly one that includes honey, lemon and oatmeal.  If I splurge on a store bought mask, I’ve been really into Yes to Grapefruit Brightening Vitamin C Glow Boosting mud mask lately.

Find one thing to go to each month.

I’m really frugal when it comes to spending.  So, if I know I have some dinner plans with friends or an event that will require a gift, I will more often than not, forego spending anything extra on myself, in order to save money to do what I consider to be more important time with family or friends.  But, that’s led to some serious resentment towards my loved ones.  I’ve decided that once a month, I will take myself out somewhere.  It might be a day trip, a breakfast out, or even a mini shopping excursion.

Buy something for my house each month.

For the aforementioned reasons, I tend to let the things I want to do for me go, so that I have money to do things with those I care about.  I don’t want my living space to feel cold because it’s lacking some basic homey touches.  So, I’m planning to buy at least one thing each month to make my space feel more warm and welcoming.  I’m so excited to finally have a space to make my own.  Can we say, no more white walls!?