Diary of a Spinster and Lunatic

I'm embarrassed to say, that I have completely forgotten about my resolutions for 2018.  I couldn't even tell you what they are, let alone what steps I'm taking daily to reach them.  At the beginning of the year, I was off to a strong start, but since having some large (and wonderful!) life events occur this year, I've completely lost track of some of these goals.  I've been on a strong path to discovering my purpose, and that above all of my other goals is truly exciting.  I've been going through the BeautifulYOU program developed by Dr. Melody Stevens, and it's really helped to put things in perspective for me.  I still have another week or so to go before finishing the program, but I can't stop talking about it.  Now that I've discovered what I believe to be my purpose, all I really have to do now is take some action.  I'm not exactly sure why that step can feel so difficult, but I'm hoping I'll be able to speak more to that poin...

A friend of mine told me to listen to the above video last week, and I just had to share it.   It’s incredibly motivational.  And, it really ties into the fact that you can't take care of others, if you first don't take care of yourself, which is something that has just recently hit home with me. The video is 18 minutes long, but well worth the listen.  Have a great week!

I may be way off base here.   But, it seems to me, that unless I fill some of my own needs, I really can’t unconditionally be there for others.     This thought dawned on me, after realizing that one of the reasons I crave eating out so often, is because I feel taken care of when I do.    Lately, I feel like certain people in my life just use me, and I’m being taken advantage of, particularly at work.   And because of this, I’ve naturally just wanted to withdrawal and hide away from everyone.   What’s worse is that I’ve resented some people for a very long time because, it would seem like they’re making things harder than they need to be, not appreciating what I’m doing, or not reciprocating in the way I wished they would.  For obvious reasons, this is not a good mentality to have. While I do enjoy a night or weekend in, it’s ultimately not the type of person I want to be.   I’m so tired of feeling worn down and exhausted aft...

  I really fell off track yesterday.  I'd been doing so well with exercising and eating right.  But, I decided to eat my feelings, and probably consumed two days worth of food.  Boy, do I feel disgusting today!  Not just physically, but mentally I feel guilty and weak.  But, today is Monday.  A brand new day.  It's the start of a new week.  And, a new day equals a clean slate, and another day to crush my personal goals.  We can't be spot on every day.  So, today, I'm forgiving yesterdays' weakness, and starting today off right by drinking a hot lemon water to help flush my system. Don't worry about what happened yesterday.  You can't change the past.  Just worry about how you're going to conquer today's goals.

As we grow up, we grow and mature as people.   (I mean, hopefully, right?   LOL!)   Unfortunately, if our friends don’t grow at the same rate, or in the same way, we may grow apart.   Even if you don’t grow apart, people get married and start families, or simply move away.   So, for a spinster like me, that has meant searching for friends and different groups to be a part of.     Personal improvement and my faith have been the two big things in my life that have really taken priority, and therefore my time and energy.   I can’t remember exactly, but I think my desire for friendship and positivity were probably the original reasons I started signing up for different social groups.   I took a dance class for about a year, and tried several different Bible Studies before finding one that really worked for me.   I also joined several different Facebook groups until I found two that were really motivational, inspiring, and ones that I ...

Monday has such a negative connotation to it.  I hate that mid-day Sunday, I start feeling a little down.  I hear it's normal, but is it really?  Why can't we look forward to Mondays like we do Fridays!?  A lot of things are thrown at us in our lifetime that may seem like a really big deal.  But, the only way we will learn and grow, is if we are challenged.  So, let's start looking at Mondays as an exciting new opportunity to develop ourselves, and challenge us to be better than we were last week.  We can do so much in five days!  Get excited for this week.  You got this!

I had a bit of a revelation moment this past week, and I wanted to share my experience with you.   I’ve been working through the Beautiful You program, developed by Dr. Melody Stevens.   And, within this program, she really does a great job of helping you to identify your true goals, and asking tons of questions to help identify where your sticking points are.   You can then deal with the things that are holding you back, and really live a beautiful and fulfilled life.   Ok… confession time. * Deep breath * For a number of years, my goal has to been to be good enough to earn the love of a man.   To be good enough that someone will think I was the type of woman that would make a good wife, and possibly a mother.   In working through the program (I’m only about 40% of the way through), I asked myself why people in general need to feel loved.   And, why do I need to feel loved?   I asked Google, and I have to tell you, that it’s not a simpl...