I received a rather profound message last week. We do not need to do anything in order to be loved, but
rather do things because we are loved.
What a freeing thought!
Looking back over my life, I can think of more than a few instances where I was willing to do pretty much anything for love and approval. I always wanted my parents to be proud of me. I needed regular praise for my actions. I switched schools in second grade, and was desperate to be accepted by my classmates. I struggled with making close relationships growing up, and when I found someone who wanted to be more than just an acquaintance, I would do things or develop poor habits in order to fit in.
In the same way, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve been frantically trying to fix myself or develop myself enough so that I am worthy of being someone’s wife, and actually be a good mother. This way of thinking has been a huge motivator to change, and look for areas of my life that need improvement. But, I’m changing my focus. I’m changing the reasons for my actions.
Knowing that God already loves us like a Father unconditionally loves his children, we don’t need to earn love from anyone. If you’re not religious, just know that by trying to earn love from someone, it will only lead to resentment and frustration, because we’ll never get the love we truly desire from the other person.
Consider these beautiful thoughts:
Because I am loved, I can humble myself versus building myself up to look better.
Because I am loved, I can cast my anxiety on God, versus casting anxiety on my performance.
Because I am loved, I can stand firm in my faith, versus standing shaky in my feelings.
Unfortunately, our family and friends, as much as we love them, don’t always meet our needs for feeling loved. Even though it feels so natural to desire the approval and love of others, we really don’t need this approval. We already have it! So, for example, if you’re going to the gym to get the perfect body in order to be loved by someone. Stop. Instead, go and exercise because you were given your beautiful body as a gift to be used. Exercise out of appreciation and love for the gift you were given.
Having gotten closer to understanding the concept that we are already loved, I’ve realized how many superficial reasons I have for doing things. Let’s change the reasons for our actions!
What a freeing thought!
Looking back over my life, I can think of more than a few instances where I was willing to do pretty much anything for love and approval. I always wanted my parents to be proud of me. I needed regular praise for my actions. I switched schools in second grade, and was desperate to be accepted by my classmates. I struggled with making close relationships growing up, and when I found someone who wanted to be more than just an acquaintance, I would do things or develop poor habits in order to fit in.
In the same way, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve been frantically trying to fix myself or develop myself enough so that I am worthy of being someone’s wife, and actually be a good mother. This way of thinking has been a huge motivator to change, and look for areas of my life that need improvement. But, I’m changing my focus. I’m changing the reasons for my actions.
Knowing that God already loves us like a Father unconditionally loves his children, we don’t need to earn love from anyone. If you’re not religious, just know that by trying to earn love from someone, it will only lead to resentment and frustration, because we’ll never get the love we truly desire from the other person.
Consider these beautiful thoughts:
Because I am loved, I can humble myself versus building myself up to look better.
Because I am loved, I can cast my anxiety on God, versus casting anxiety on my performance.
Because I am loved, I can stand firm in my faith, versus standing shaky in my feelings.
Unfortunately, our family and friends, as much as we love them, don’t always meet our needs for feeling loved. Even though it feels so natural to desire the approval and love of others, we really don’t need this approval. We already have it! So, for example, if you’re going to the gym to get the perfect body in order to be loved by someone. Stop. Instead, go and exercise because you were given your beautiful body as a gift to be used. Exercise out of appreciation and love for the gift you were given.
Having gotten closer to understanding the concept that we are already loved, I’ve realized how many superficial reasons I have for doing things. Let’s change the reasons for our actions!
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