Consistency

Understanding and accepting that we have control over more in our lives than we realize is extremely empowering.  In the past, even though this concept made complete sense to me, I wasn’t executing it.  One of the biggest lessons for me is learning to be consistent. 

My moodiness was a really big problem for a long time.  And, part of that isn’t because I can’t control my temper, but because I was expecting other people to know what I need, when I needed it.  And, if I come out of my comfort zone and tell you I need something, and I still don’t get it... then I’m really not happy. 

I don’t do well when I get hungry.  Not necessarily because I just don’t like the feeling of being hungry, but my blood sugar drops and I start to not feel well.  I’ll feel light headed, and if I go too long without eating I’ll get nauseous.  So, when I’ve been hanging out with my best friend, and the time started to creep towards 7:00 or 7:30PM in the evening, it makes common sense to me that he would also get hungry.  I realized that I needed to tell my friend that I was hungry, but that didn’t always get us to the point of eating any faster.  So, I would take his nonchalant, it’s Saturday and we have no schedule, let’s fly by the seat of our pants attitude as dawdling or dilly dallying.  And, because I had come out of my comfort zone, and conveyed I was hungry and I still wasn’t getting what I needed, I would get moody and my attitude would flair up.  Well, this creates a very volatile environment, and who wants to hang out with someone if you don’t know whether their switch will flip, and they’ll immediately become angry or moody? 

Even though I’ve been working on my moodiness for almost two years, it took a long time for my friend to actually see the difference.  We think that because in one instance we improved our bad habit, or even if we’ve been doing it for a few weeks or months then we’ve fixed our problem and everything is great.  However, the other person may not notice that quickly.  I used to get feedback, and occasionally still get told my moodiness is a problem.  But, I just keep telling myself that I have to remain consistent.  Because the moment that I get angry and let my temper flair up, I just wiped out the months and months of work that I have done. 

In this instance, I have learned ways around my issue.  Whether it’s carrying small snacks around with me, or actually being a bit more aggressive and saying I need to eat, and if you don’t want to that’s ok, but then I need to go home.  I’ve not only learned to be consistent with my efforts to prove that I’m changing and growing as a person, but I’ve also learned to stand up for myself, and that feels really great.