Diary of a Spinster and Lunatic

THOUGHTS OF AN OLD SOLDIER by:  SFC Thomas E. Ward USAR RET 66-67 As my next heart beat grows further from my first and closer to my last. I look back into the years and to those friends left in my past. Old soldiers whose years now pass. Each day our faces wrinkle our hands callous our hair turns a shade of gray. Our dearest friends grow old no more Their hair will never gray They age no more Not a hour nor a day They feel no pain since the day they fell. Their brows will never crease with worry or some horrid pain. Our memories of them will never cease. a promise made years ago as we stood in the rain. I visited my friends and yes I stood tall But no matter how much I tried I broke and cried As I knew those names upon the Wall.  I am not a veteran, and will never know what it truly feels like to lose a friend in war.  But, I was extremely moved by this man's poem.  To all the men and women who have served, and to those who have

Sometimes I find it helpful to look at what I should not be doing, in order to see what I really need to improve on in order to be truly happy.  We've all had that friend, at some point in our lives, that is extremely negative.  The person that needs constant reassurance or praise that they're pretty enough, or smart enough.  Or, that person that somehow always has something that has gone terribly wrong in their lives, and they're just miserable. I realized that in some ways... I've been that friend! By being negative, I can see how I've pushed people away. And, while I have friends, I don't consider them to be extremely close.  I realize, now that I'm pretty much alone, how important having other people, with whom you can be open and vulnerable with, in your life are.  So, I've compiled a list of things that I'm making sure I don't do in the future.  Turn the negative aspects of my life into my identity.  I catch myself now and agai

  Sometimes it's hard to remember that Rome wasn't built in a day.  It can be so discouraging when you try something new and don't see the immediate results you want.  There's always going to be set backs, and once in awhile old habits will creep up on you before you even realize it.  The best you can do is be aware, keep learning, keep growing, and find a passion for the mission you're on, no matter what it is.  Don't give up!

H ello, I’m not just a spinster and a lunatic, I’m also an addict.   A big one.   I have many addictions, but my biggest are comfort foods and television.   My comfort foods include cheese, sweets, and carbs.   I love pasta with a thick, creamy sauce, sushi, pizza, cheeseburgers, and really any type of fast food.   I’m not picky.   After a bad day, I will eat my comfort foods sitting in front of the TV, so that I don’t have to think or face my problems.   And, on a good day, I will celebrate by eating my comfort foods, while sitting in front of the TV, so that I don’t have think.   Because you know… I “deserve it.”   I think about eating while sitting in front of the TV during the day, and will fantasize about how good the comfort food will taste, and how much pleasure I will get out of vegetating and not having to think.   It’s become a vicious and unhealthy cycle.   And, I’m ready to quit.   Why you ask?   What’s the harm in escaping life for a few hours each night and enjoy

This video has such a powerful message.  I am so guilty of not doing things because I'm afraid of how I'll look, or that people will think I'm silly, or stupid.  That's pride.  While I have erased pride in some areas of my life, there are many, many, many others that I still need to go through, and actively weed out this destructive emotion.  I love that Matthew says that we must be students in our own lives, because ultimately, that's what I've been trying to do.  I am trying to learn as much as I can from every experience I go through.  It can be from watching people interact on the train during my commute, how I interact with someone at work, how I stand up for myself with a family member, or how I watch a neighbor treat others.  Regardless of whether the lesson was positive or negative, at least I know what works, and what doesn't.  And, thus, can put this knowledge and experience to use in my own life, to positively affect those around me.

I was dreading this past weekend for the majority of last week.  I was going to spend the entire weekend with my family!  Would they give me the third degree on my lack of relationship?  Would I hear repeatedly about how they don't like that I've darkened my hair?  Would I get down on myself because my baby sister is getting married, and I have no one in my life right now?  It's so easy to focus on the negative, instead of the positive.  It comes  way too naturally for me!  I have to stop myself from looking at Facebook and comparing myself to others.  It's so easy to get down on yourself when you look at those people that seem to have all the things you so badly want.  But, instead, I'm consciously focusing on what I do have.  And, instead of getting an attitude because a family member is getting on my nerves, I'm stopping and thinking about how grateful I am that they're in my life.  Because, life is way too short, and we don't always get

Last week, I attended a client meeting with several of my co-workers.  During said meeting, one of my co-workers, and good friend, got up to get water for our guests from a mini fridge in a cabinet located in the meeting room.  But, she wasn't really quiet or discrete about it, and proceeded to slam the cabinet doors, while our guests were speaking. Maybe it's because I've lived in an apartment for too long, and the sound of my neighbors slamming their doors and kitchen cabinets has become a big pet peeve of mine.  But, to me, her actions seemed a little rude.  It got me wondering... why do people do some of the things they do? After doing some Googling, it seems like there are many reasons for why people slam things like doors, cabinets, and toilet seats.  Reasons range from anger, lack of awareness, laziness, selfishness, bad manners, and lack of consideration for others.  I immediately did some self-reflection.  While I'm pretty good about not slamming doors, c