Diary of a Spinster and Lunatic

As I enter the new year, I feel hopeful. I came across this quote on Pinterest recently, and it really resonated with me. So often, I want to avoid the day, and really avoid life in general.  I just want to stay in bed in the morning.  It's not just that I don't like getting up early, or that I don't want to go to work.  I've been wanting to avoid life!  There have been times, too numerous to count, that I would rather pull away from the world and not have to talk to anyone or live up to the expectations. That funk that I was in, that pity party I was throwing for myself because I wasn't getting what I thought I deserved... pride.  All pride. No more. I'm still not a huge morning person.  But, when I get up in the morning, I look forward to seeing what new lessons there will be to learn.  I look forward to growing and challenging myself.  I'm excited to grow my faith.  I feel like I'm finally working towards something important!  I'm not

It's hard to believe that 2016 is almost over.  What a year it has been.  While I feel like I made great strides in personal growth, as well as accomplished a number of my goals, it still feels like I didn't do anything.  There's always that internal nagging that I can do more.  Even though I hadn't formalized my resolution list yet, I started some of my goals the day after Christmas.  Why wait for January 1, when I can start immediately?  I'm back to a more rigorous exercise routine.  I'm cutting out the bad habits and addictions, and forcing myself to take on challenges, instead of succumbing to not doing anything, or taking the easier route. My main focus is still on personal growth, and being a better person.  A better friend, a better loved one, a better daughter.  To stop focusing on what I'm not getting, and take pleasure in doing things for others.  What I've learned is that in some cases, once I get what I think I need, I really don't

After last weeks post, I really started to become aware of how often pride takes over my actions.  I'm so embarrassed to admit that pride is such a huge part of who I am!  There is literally not an hour that goes by that I don't do something prideful.  And, by that I mean, bad prideful.  Not, the healthy kind. It always drives me nuts, when there is a problem that I can't find an easy step-by-step process to beat.  Like, if I want to lose weight, it's a matter of eating healthier, and exercising more.  It's calories in versus calories out.  But, when it comes to changing parts of who I am, I'm never quite sure what the answer is, or rather the correct path to follow to get to my goal. I think that opening my heart to God, and really deepening my relationship with Him is the answer.  However, when I first discovered this truth, my first reaction was, "And how do I do that!?"  Well, the same way that we deepen our relationship with our friends.  I

I seem to have an issue with having my own definition for things.   My definitions aren’t entirely untrue, but are certainly not all-encompassing and fully accurate .   If you had asked me two weeks ago how I would define prideful behavior, I would have told you that it’s someone who can’t admit when they’re wrong.   Which is true.   However, being prideful is so much more than that.   It is a way of being, and looking at the world, through selfish and self-centered eyes.   We can only see our own point of view, and have expectations of others, instead of living to serve.   I’ve written about my issues here , here , here , here , here , and here .   And, especially, here .  In all the situations I wrote about previously, I was able to come to some kind of “solution.”   Forcing myself to look at things a different way.   Or, train myself to be different.   While I can appreciate the fact that I was trying to address my issues, I can see now that I wasn’t looking deep enough.

It feels like I have devoured an exorbitant amount of food over the last few weeks.  On top of it being Thanksgiving, and eating constantly for days, my best girlfriend was visiting from London!  It's been almost a year since I've seen her.  So, I soaked up as much time as I could get with my bestie, Thus, I ate out and drank more than I usually do. I'm still down a few pounds from my brief diet before Thanksgiving, but I still have a ways to go.  I wish I had a scale to actually measure my successes and failures. My only measurement is how bloated I feel, and how tight my clothes are. Our bodies are actually pretty efficient, and are self-cleaning and detoxifying.  But, sometimes we need to give them a little help.  I am a huge lover of all things yoga.  So, my answer to my overeating (and drinking), was doing detox yoga routines all of this week.  Detox yoga tends to include a lot of twists and binds.  By doing twisting poses, we are massaging and compressing the inte