Diary of a Spinster and Lunatic

After my post last week, I wanted to share something that has been greatly affecting me.   And, why it’s so important to forgive, and accept the things that have happened to you in the past. While there were some really great things about my last relationship, there were also some really terrible things.   Without getting into the nitty gritty details and divulging too much, there was a lot about my last relationship that just never seemed fair, or even reasonable at times.   So, I became very sensitive, defensive, and resentful around certain topics.   My ex was, and still is, very communicative, which is great.  But when we would touch on certain topics, I could not even hear what he was saying.   All of those hurt and resentful feelings would come flooding back into my brain and my heart, and I couldn’t even see straight.   I’ve gotten really angry, and blown up because of this, and have ended up saying some very cruel things as a result. I recognize that I’ve been hang

Fear is a pretty normal human emotion, but it can have detrimental effects.  Sometimes fear can be helpful as a survival mechanism, but a lot of times we allow the fear to prohibit us from actually being happy, and reaching our dreams!  There have been so many times in my life when I was so afraid that it crippled me from going any further.  The truth is that if we wait just one day to work towards our dreams, we could miss an opportunity, and it could set us back weeks, months, or even years.  Don't allow the fear to keep you from taking a chance on something you really want.  Don't let the fear of actually getting what want, keep you from reaching for and achieving your dreams.  Get up and put one foot in front of the other.  We're all afraid of different things, so just take it one step at a time.  You got this!

I heard something recently that really got me thinking.  And, that is, if you have someone that you don't want to talk to or see, hope that bad things happen to this person, or withhold doing good for them for revengeful purposes, then you have some forgiving to do.  I don't know why I didn't think I was still angry with certain people from my past, and even a few from my present, but alas… you really can't argue with the truth. So, how does one forgive?  It seems easier said than done.  But, it's helpful to understand what forgiveness really means.  There are two types of forgiveness... full-hearted true forgiveness, and half-hearted forgiveness.  Half-hearted forgiveness is what I've been doing most of my life.  I'll say all the right things, and even tell someone I forgive them, but only because it's the polite thing to do.  I still dwell and ruminate on the incident, will never forget it, and will end up resenting the individual.  To know that yo

I heard something that just touched my heart last week… We are called to be rare.     I just love that thought!     And, it really made me think about all the ways that I adhere to society’s standards instead of my own.   How many times during the day do I just go with what society tells me is acceptable?   How many times do I do something simply because it’s a habit, even if it makes me uncomfortable?   And, I am super guilty of acting, talking, looking and thinking like the people around me, to appear a certain way, so that I receive approval from some, and consciously set myself apart from others.   And, how many times to I judge people for not being like me, and having similar priorities?   This week, let’s make sure we stand out in a way that shows everyone around us, we aren’t like everyone else.   Prove to people we come into contact with that there are good people in this world.   Hold the door for someone, be polite even when you’re ready to lose your shit, and g

Growing up, I was never the girl with glowing clear skin.  I was very acne prone, and I felt like I tried every cream, topical ointment, and cleanser under the sun in order to correct my issue.  Unfortunately, looking back, I believe a good portion of why I always broke out was due to my diet, which was very starchy, my constant picking, and not cleansing my face properly.  I used harsh cleansers and scrubs in order to get rid of what I considered the excess oil.  I also liked using cleansing pads instead of a simple face wash, because I was too lazy to actually wash my face.    I made my own apple cider vinegar toner many years ago, and once I started I never looked back.  It's so easy to make and use, and really just made a huge difference in my complexion! The whole point of toner is to remove the excess dirt and grime from your skin after cleansing.  It also restores pH balance.  Our skin is naturally acidic, and because soap is naturally alkaline, you can see why washing t

Sometimes it's really hard to watch someone that you might consider to be an undeserving person get something in their life that you really want as well.  I can't tell you how many times I've watched someone I personally felt did not work as hard, or did not appreciate something a much, get that thing that I so badly wanted.  Life can really feel unfair at times. It got me thinking about Matthew 5:45, which states "that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes the sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and unjust."  We are all loved, despite our sins.  And, it's very easy to minimize the severity of our own sins, while at the same time make the sins of those around us out to be massive, and so much worse than our own.  The truth is, that a sin is still a sin.  And, we must live by God's law even if we see those around us doing something we consider to be worse.  We are not being graded on a curve.  Those

Staring at a stop sign Watching people drive by T Mac on the radio Got so much on your mind Nothing's really going right Looking for a ray of hope Whatever it is you may be going through I know He's not gonna let it get the best of you [Chorus:] You're an overcomer Stay in the fight ‘til the final round You're not going under ‘Cause God is holding you right now You might be down for a moment Feeling like it's hopeless That's when He reminds You That you're an overcomer You're an overcomer Everybody's been down Hit the bottom, hit the ground Ooh, you're not alone Just take a breath, don't forget Hang on to His promises He wants You to know [Chorus] The same Man, the Great I am The one who overcame death He's living inside of You So just hold tight, fix your eyes On the one who holds your life There's nothing He can't do He's telling you (Take a breath, don't forget Hang on to His promises) [Ch

There are so many things in this world to distract us, and keep us from doing the work we really need to be doing.   And, by that, I mean the work we all must do on ourselves.   None of us is perfect.   We are each born into different families, in different cultures, and nations.   And, we each grew up in what we would consider our own “normal.”   But, the truth is, along with our genetics, we are shaped by our experiences, and our environment.   We all reach a point, where we must question ourselves, and all those habits and personal characteristics that we consider to be normal.   At some point, we all strive to reach a level of enlightenment.   For me, that came after a painful and confusing period of my life. What is the truth?   What are my actions really saying?   Is this all in my head? I imagine that each of us has asked these questions at one point or another.   Did you ever come up with an answer?   I know sometimes, I’ve gotten stuck, and stopped looking for the answe