Diary of a Spinster and Lunatic

Each of us is on our own journey.  We're all working on different aspects of our lives, and have different strengths and weaknesses.  However, we must be careful not to focus on what we're giving up, instead of what we're gaining in going through our growth journey. Focusing only on what we're giving up will make us feel constantly deprived.  And, deprivation leads to desperation, frustration, and failure.  Instead, we have to focus on everything we're gaining instead.  The gains are way more valuable than the losses.    

I received a rather profound message last week.   We do not need to do anything in order to be loved, but rather do things because we are loved. What a freeing thought!   Looking back over my life, I can think of more than a few instances where I was willing to do pretty much anything for love and approval.   I always wanted my parents to be proud of me.   I needed regular praise for my actions.   I switched schools in second grade, and was desperate to be accepted by my classmates.   I struggled with making close relationships growing up, and when I found someone who wanted to be more than just an acquaintance, I would do things or develop poor habits in order to fit in. In the same way, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve been frantically trying to fix myself or develop myself enough so that I am worthy of being someone’s wife, and actually be a good mother.   This way of thinking has been a huge motivator to change, and look for areas of my life that need improvement.   But, I’m chan

When we get knocked down it's not usually physically, but emotionally.  Sometimes we can receive unsettling news, or make a mistake that has led to significant consequences, or even receive feedback that can feel insanely hurtful.  When I get knocked down sometimes it can take hours or even days to get myself back up and mentally "right." At those times when our world is turned upside down, we need to remember that it's ok to feel the pain.  It's ok to take some time to regroup.  Take responsibility for the part that you played in the pain your feeling.  If you are religious, have faith that we are only given what we can handle.  I also find it best to go through my usual daily routine, whether I feel like it or not, in order to get back to feeling like my old self.  And, I will consciously think about all the things I appreciate in my life. If you're feeling a little knocked down this morning like me, then I hope this song helps you get moving.  And, if y

When others provide me with feedback, regardless of whether it’s good or bad, I really struggle with not allowing my opinion to override what the individual is telling me.   Which, can ultimately lead to completely disregarding what they’ve said.   Sometimes I find that the other person is on target, and sometimes, I think my opinion makes more sense.   And, unfortunately, I usually decide what I will do or believe based off of what I think or feel.     We all need to be careful of allowing our own opinions to become fact in our minds.   It’s those types of people that become completely out of touch with reality.     I’m not sure when I first discovered Tony Robbins, but he has truly become my truth touchstone.   He provides information on business success, relationships, and personal development.   I’ve listened to dozens upon dozens of his videos on YouTube, and also watched his NetFlix movie Tony Robbins: I Am Not Your Guru .   If you listen with the intent to learn somethi

This Wednesday is not just Valentine’s Day, it’s also the beginning of Lent!   (Wasn’t it just Christmas?   How is it almost Easter?   Just saying…)   It’s this time of year that Catholics abstain from eating meat on Fridays and will normally give up something.   We are called to look at what is distracting us, and taking our focus away from God.   I usually give up sweets or severely limit the amount of television I can watch, as I believe those are my greatest vices.   They’re the things that I turn to instead of God for comfort, and to distract me from what I really need to be doing.        Regardless of whether or not you’re Catholic, or even religious for that matter, why not take the next 40 days to work on something that will make you grow as a person?   Instead of giving something up, perhaps you’ll opt to commit to exercising a certain number of days a week, or make a conscious decision to make time for someone in your life that you can tell is lonely.   Some of my fellow

Made to Crave is probably one of the best self-help books I've read in a long time.  Lysa Terkeurst takes her readers on a journey, and shows them how their struggle with weight is linked to something deeper than just not having the discipline to put down the Oreos, and get on the treadmill.  We all have desires, and have needs that are not being met.  And, unfortunately, a lot of times we turn to food, among other things, for comfort. At the end of each chapter, there are a few questions to make you think about how Lysa's experiences apply to you, and your individual circumstances.  I chose to take the questions at the end of each chapter and use them to tackle issues that I'm personally working on, including my somewhat unhealthy desire for attention, my negative internal self-talk, and selfishness.  It's actually easier to tailor the questions to different circumstances than one might think. There is also a daily devotional , which I've been going through

I'm not really a sports fan, but it's been really cool to see all my friends and family get so excited the Birds made AND WON the Super Bowl!!  Congrats to the city I consider to be my city, and to all those die hard fans!   Fly Eagles Fly On the road to victory Fight, Fight, Fight Fight Eagles Fight Score a touchdown 123 123 Hit 'em low Hit 'em high And watch our Eagles fight Fly Eagles Fly On the road to victory E-A-G-L-E-S! Eagles!

Happy February 1 st ! The title of this video is Emotionally Healthy Marriages, but it can really apply to all types of relationships.   I like to listen to informational videos while I work during the day, and I’ve listened to this probably upwards of 10 times in the last week.   I just can’t seem to get enough.   I don’t think any one person can listen to this, and not find a way that they could be doing better in their relationships.   I seriously learn something new, every time I listen to this video.   To be fully honest, it took listening to it a few times to stop wanting to point the finger at someone in my life and say see, see what Jimmy is saying!?   Do you see how you’re hurting us!?   But, I’m consciously telling my defensive and prideful side to take a seat, and really just listen for what I can personally be improving.   Jimmy Evans from Marriage Today explains that emotions can really affect everything we do and think.   And, if we are still angry or conflict