Dressing for Men

I am a sucker for any article implying that it can help me obtain the effortlessly chic style and sex appeal of a French woman.  So, naturally, I clicked on New York and Paris Style: What’s the Difference?  Camille Rowe is a French born model, and has spent so many years living in both New York and Paris, that she’s able to give a nice perspective between the women living in both cities. 

What struck me the most was that New York women dress for other women, whereas in Paris, women dress for men.  I admit that I had a hard time wrapping my head around this statement.  (I’m not the quickest light bulb in the shed.)  When I brought it up to my best guy friend, he said, and I quote, “There are women out there who think of someone other than themselves?  That’s it, I’m going to Paris!”  I still struggled with this.  I mean, I want men to notice me.  Not in the sense that I’m hoping every man on the street will approach me for a date.  But, I want men to look twice when I walk by.  I admit, I’m looking for a sense of validation that I’m not too old, ugly, and completely undesirable. 

What started the juices flowing, is when I recognized that I dress differently when I meet up with my best girlfriend.  I consider her to be very glamorous.  She’s sexy and European, and compared to her I feel plain and homely.  So, I dress up.  I try to be my most trendy and sexy self when we’re together.  I dress up to make myself feel better.  I’m competing with my friend!  And, the more I thought about it, I make fashion choices based off of how I compare myself to other women.  Do I look cuter than that girl in the office?  Do I look classier than the girl on the train?  Do I look more professional and put together than my stay-at-home-mom friends?

I was under the allusion that just because I like the attention of men, I was dressing for men.  But, I’m not.  I dress to satisfy a feeling within myself.  This is selfish and self-centered thinking.  Ugh!  While I totally agree with being comfortable with what you wear, and that your personal sense of style should be a true reflection of yourself, I also recognize that by dressing to compete with other women, I’m not focusing on men.  And, how do I expect to have a successful relationship with a man if I’m thinking only of satisfying my own feelings and insecurities?  (I mean, if I’m doing it here, then I’m most likely doing it in other areas.)

I’m not planning on changing my personal sense of style.  But, it’s something to think about, isn’t it?  How often do I only focus on myself, and not consider the needs of others.  As women, aren’t we supposed to satisfy the needs of our man, in our perfectly imperfect way? 

I came across an article where an American woman’s French husband spoke of the differences he noticed between the two cultures.  And, in regards to the way women dress, he was very surprised at how casually American women go out in public.  It kind of makes me think of that scene in Clueless, where Cher says, “So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair (eww!) and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so.” 

Are we girls just as guilty!?  I know I’ve gone out to run errands thinking I look cute, with my greasy hair, sweatpants and flip flops.  Guys who wore baggy pants, and backwards caps over their unwashed hair in the 90’s, probably thought the same thing.  I bet they were hoping that a woman would see through the grunge, and love him for who he is.  I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t want some guy that looks like he hasn’t showered in three days to approach me for a date.  If I want a guy to consider me when getting dressed in the morning, I’m certainly going to do the same for him.