Diary of a Spinster and Lunatic

Let go of that which does not serve you.   This has become my new mantra.   There were a couple of really stressful moments this week and after a particularly rough day, I did some yoga for stress relief.   During the video, Adriene mentioned this mantra and it really resonated with me.   I hang on to things and dwell on them, letting them ruin my hour, day, weeks, or years.   I’m determined to stop this horrible routine of mine.   I need to let go of those things that I cannot change, because you know what stressing out or getting mad over it will do?   Nothing.

Quarter end is winding down, and I’m feeling a little overworked.   On top of my regular quarter end responsibilities I’ve also had to back a couple people up while they took some time off over the last few weeks.   By the end of last Friday I was ready to do a face plant into bed and not get up until Monday.   So, I made this weekend as relaxing and low key as possible, but still got out so I felt like I didn’t completely waste the weekend.   On Saturday, I went to a pumpkin patch for the first time ever, and picked out my pumpkin.   I like pumpkins because I can keep them out through Thanksgiving.   It’s like they pull double duty so I feel less guilty for buying one since it’s more “economical.”   I was actually going to purchase two, one to carve and one to sit around look pretty, but I quickly figured out I could only carry one.   (Need to start building those arm muscles!)   So, I didn’t carve one this year.   After gett...

I’m a very selfish person.   It’s taken a lot for me to admit that.   I’m sure that all my friends and family are going… Because there are a lot of things that I do that I consider to be unselfish.   So, how could I be selfish!?   Well, I wasn’t looking at it in the right way.   I was thinking that if I did random acts of kindness that I wasn’t selfish.   But, as it turns out, my way of thinking is selfish.   Something happened lately that really put things into perspective.   My parents recently retired and moved away to a warmer climate.   And, in doing so, has put multiple hours of drive time between us.   Basically, if I’m going to visit, it requires taking time off of work, because there’s no way I can go down and come back in two days.   I’ve become very irritated because every time I talk to my parents (which is about once a week) I feel like they’re harassing me to come and visit.   “They put all this d...

Tonight at Bible Study we watched a video   about unconditional love that a father gives his son.  And, I found it hard to watch.  The message in the video is just so strong.  And, I found that it made me think of things from multiple perspectives. For one thing, this is obviously the perfect world version of what we would all love someone to do for us when we mess up and feel completely embarrassed and ashamed of what we've done.  But it also made me think about the times that I should not have judged, but rather shown compassion for the other person.  How many times should I have shown someone love as opposed to judging, arguing, withdrawing and pushing them away? I can relate to this little boy, even in my spinster state of being.  I run and hide from things I do wrong.  Instead of fixing them immediately, I try to play it off or I ignore it and hope that it will go away.  Sometimes I do actually hide under my covers and just cry....

Once I started utilizing my weekly list of goals, I pretty much had an ongoing anxiety attack for the two weeks.   All of a sudden I had this list of things to do that I felt accountable for, and therefore, I felt the pressure to get all of these things done.   I was finding it incredibly hard to focus on anything.   I couldn’t focus when I was I work, I was having a hard time focusing at home, and it pretty much exhausted me both mentally and physically.   I’ve since become more accustomed to my new schedule and pushing myself to think longer and harder than I probably ever have in the past.   But, once in a while I’ll still have those periods where I just cannot seem to focus.   So, I’ve been keeping the below things in mind as I go through out my day.   Keep a Task List : I already have my weekly list of goals, but I still find it really helpful to break up everything I want to do into smaller tasks, including those items that rea...

I ride public transit on my way to and from work everyday, and in my travels have consistently come across those people that you look at and just think... seriously!?  Why are you doing that!?!  I've been curious why people act certain ways.  Like not using headphones, or even if they do use headphones singing along so that we can all enjoy their expletive music. So, in my Googling to see why people are obnoxious (which I kind of think there are multiple reasons) and also make sure that I personally try my best to not one of those people... I came across this article.  I mean, to a degree it's funny.  But seriously?  I can relate to some of these, but others are just down right ridiculous.  And, then there is those situations that are completely gross and unsanitary.  It's sad to think what the world is coming to, and how rude we are to each other.  There's a part of me that would love to say something to these people, but I'm kind of afrai...

Is it me, or did the month of September fly by so fast it's almost like it didn't happen?  Crazy! In my usual Virgo way, I've made a list of things I want to accomplish over the next several weeks.  Fall is my favorite season, and I don't want to miss out on anything.  For a long time I feel like I've just sat around and life just passed me by.  No more!  I'm taking control of my life, and it feels so damn good.  :)  Visit a pumpkin patch. Take a fall foliage walk or drive. Get my Christmas shopping underway.   Go to my local town's Oktoberfest. Try some German recipes. Carve a pumpkin. Do a little fall cleaning.