Ways to Help Others

It’s been several weeks, dare I say months, since I completed the BeautifulYOU Program developed by Dr. Melody Stevens.  It was during this program that I realized, trying to be a good person in order to receive love from others, wasn’t exactly a healthy goal.  Instead, because we need to give love as much as we need to receive love, I decided my life goal would be to start helping others and finding ways to focus on giving back. 

Let me tell you how much I have done in regards to moving forward with my goal. 

Nada.

I can give a million excuses as to why I haven’t done anything.  But, the truth is, I didn’t make it a priority, and put my time and energy towards other things.  But, I digress.

As my first step in moving forward with my goal, I wanted to come up with a list of small things I can do every day in order to make life a little easier for other people.  When it comes down to it, I think we’re all a little selfish, and focused on what we’re currently thinking and feeling.  It’s not intentional, and it comes so naturally for some of us!  I am especially guilty of this!!  But, let’s try to break this habit, and see if we can start focusing on what’s going on outside of ourselves.

Smile!  Because I’m an introvert, and the idea of being stopped by someone and engaged in conversation stresses me out sometimes, I tend to avert my eyes downward when I walk by people.  A simple smile and hello can really warm someone’s heart.  Maybe the other person is having a bad day, and fighting the negative voices inside their head.  Bring them out of it, by saying hello!  Plus, smiling at others is something that can be easily paid forward.

Donate things you don’t use.  I am guilty of holding on to things way too long.  I literally just threw a few skirts that I’ve had since college into my Goodwill pile.  Oh my goodness, college was so many years ago!  They still look good, but they don’t fit, and would probably be appreciated by someone else way more than me.      

Teach others.  This doesn’t have to be formal thing.  Often times, we’ve had an experience that someone else hasn’t had yet.  So why not share your knowledge with someone who is now going through a similar experience?  When you’re going through a hard time, knowing someone else has experienced something similar, can really lift some weight of a person’s shoulders.  And, depending on the situation, your words of wisdom could alleviate a very costly mistake.  Let’s all learn from each other!

Be there for others.  We all go through those periods where we are suffering from grief, stress or anxiety.  And, even some happy life events can lead to feeling run down, and a helpful hand would be much appreciated.  See if you can help someone at work, by helping with a project, or perhaps even taking something off someone’s plate entirely.  Lend an un-opinionated ear when someone needs to talk.  When you offer a helping hand, the worst a person can say is no thank you.  In the past, I didn’t offer help, because I thought I would be overstepping my bounds.  But, it doesn’t hurt to ask.  Maybe the other person has been avoiding making an important doctor’s appointment, and needs a little push.  Or, maybe they need help packing to move.  Sometimes knowing someone is willing to be there for you, even if you don’t take them up on their offer, means so much.

Buy food for the homeless.  I work in Baltimore City, so on my way to work, there are always people sitting outside certain restaurants hoping for some spare change.  I never carry cash, but sometimes, I’ll offer to buy someone a cup of coffee or a breakfast sandwich.  The person doesn’t need to be homeless either.  If you know someone who is struggling, invite them over for dinner, and provide a free meal.  Or, offer to pick something up for them while you’re out running errands.  And if they offer to pay you, tell them not to worry about it. 

Do a chore.  When I lived with a roommate, we each had things we would do to keep our apartment clean.  I would image that husbands and wives do something similar.  In the event your spouse or roommate is consumed with prepping for a big presentation at work, or dealing with a death in the family, or even trying to make time to do something healthy for themselves, like get to the gym, why not help out with a chore or two so that they can take the time they need?

Be patient!  Patience is not a virtue that comes easily to me.  In the past, I’ve often looked at those who slow me down as an inconvenience.  The truth is that I’ve needed a lot of help from others at work and in my personal life.  What if those people hadn’t taken the time to talk through my issues, and walk me through the steps I needed to take in order to do a good job?  We all have strengths and weaknesses.  So be patient, because one day you’ll need help too.

Think about your neighbors.  I haven’t gotten super friendly with my neighbors yet, but I’m hoping to soon.  I would love to be able to help dig my elderly neighbor’s driveway out when it snows.  Or, perhaps offer some free childcare for an hour or two, in order to give someone a few peaceful hours to run errands.  That’s what neighbors are for, right?

Complement others.  You can complement something someone is wearing, or even complement someone’s behavior.  For example, I watched my friend go above and beyond, and spend 13 hours detailing  his mom’s car.  I doubt she truly appreciates it.  But I made sure to let him know I see how much work it took, and that it was really nice of him to do what he did.  We’ve also all had that person in front of us in line who is rude for no other reason than because they had a bad day, or they think if they scream they’ll get something out of it.  I always try to complement the person at the register for being as patient and polite as possible.  Anyone who’s worked in some sort of customer service job knows it’s not easy!

Be encouraging.  If there is someone you know who is learning a new skill or going through school, ask them how it’s going.  And, ask them to tell you some things they’re learning.  Offer some words of encouragement.  It’s always nice when someone is interested in something you’re doing. 

Be supportive.  It’s important to support your friends and family, as well as those individuals in your community that you may not know.  And, a lot of times, that means simply showing up for them.  Maybe your friend’s child is playing in their little league playoffs, and they’re really excited about it.   You could stop at your neighbor’s kids lemonade stand.  And,  if you know someone is going through a hard time, offer to bring over some takeout and wine and let them vent for a few hours.  In my opinion, you know someone really cares, when they make the time and effort to show up for you.

There are tons and tons of examples of ways to help others online.  These were just a few broadly focused ones, I thought could be used in many different circumstances and situations.  Let’s all take some time to look up from our phones and see where we might be able to do something for someone else.