Contentment - Part Deux

The other day I did some reflecting and tried to find the real reason why I want to run away and never return.  I initially thought I simply needed a vacation, but it turns out contentment is something I currently don’t have and unconsciously really desire and need.  I need to be happy with myself and where I am in my life.  I need to be happy with the progress that I’ve already made and the goals and dreams I still have to achieve. 

In the past, I thought that simply understanding what my issue was would mean that I would automatically stop doing those harmful and self-destructive actions.  However, this is SO not the case.  I struggle with putting my knowledge into action and ultimately… change.  So, I’ve compiled a list of things I plan to do in order to reach a higher level of contentment.

1.       Stop checking Facebook so frequently.  When I need a 10 minute break at work, what do I do?  Check Facebook.  And, there right at my fingertips lies all of my friends achievements, children, new homes, great vacations, and “couldn’t be happier” relationships.  Most days it’s a great source of entertainment and I thoroughly enjoy seeing how friends and family are faring.  However, I also get down on myself because I start to think about what I don’t have in my life.

2.       Stop comparing myself to others.  I find this to be incredibly hard to do.  I’m always thinking about how someone else is further along, happier, healthier, or more successful than I am.  And, when they’re younger than me, which these days, is more often than not… ugh!  Or, if it’s an ex-friend…  Slap.in.the.face!  I plan to recognize that we all have a different life path.  What is right for someone else is not always going to be right for me.  For me personally, I’ve always wondered if I would be a good mother.  I mean, kids kind of get on my nerves.  So, it’s probably a good thing that I didn’t have them at a young age, or at all if that’s what is meant to be.

3.       Stop expecting what I think my life should be.  I have a great imagination.  Combine that with my romantic streak, and it’s led me to think my life should be something out of a romance novel.  In the past, I have also lived life by what I “should” do.  I should get could grades in school, so that I could get into a good college, so that I can work hard and “should” therefore get a good, high-paying job after graduation.  I “should” then meet my dream guy, get married, adopt puppies, and have two children, who will grow up to be perfect.  My expectations aren’t always reasonable.

4.       Change the message.  One of my guilty pleasures is to read lifestyle blogs.  I get swept away by the glamorous life of some of these ladies.  They travel, they dress in things I can’t afford, and they appear to have the most beautifully decorated homes.  I don’t need all of those material things to be happy.  I plan to see the bigger picture and look past all types of advertising and recognize that buying that $400 sweater, will not make me happy, nor does it mean that I am successful.

5.       Stop complaining and be positive.  I’m a negative person by nature.  And, while I have made good strides in this area, I need to stop focusing on the things I don’t like about life, work, relationships, etc.  When I notice myself going negative, I will find something positive in the situation, or at the very least, recognize that things that don’t always go the way I want them to.  By dealing with the stress of the unexpected I am really making myself a stronger person.

6.       Find a deeper level of spirituality.  I won’t lie.  I took to the internet to see what others have recommended in order to find contentment, and I came across this Bible passage (Philippians 4:10-13):

I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity.  Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

I think it’s time that I started to pursue a deeper level of spirituality.  I should be able to find peace and solace through God, and I’m not quite there yet.  And, by “not quite,”  I mean not even close.