Diary of a Spinster and Lunatic

The other day I did some reflecting and tried to find the real reason why I want to run away and never return.   I initially thought I simply needed a vacation, but it turns out contentment is something I currently don’t have and unconsciously really desire and need.   I need to be happy with myself and where I am in my life.   I need to be happy with the progress that I’ve already made and the goals and dreams I still have to achieve.   In the past, I thought that simply understanding what my issue was would mean that I would automatically stop doing those harmful and self-destructive actions.   However, this is SO not the case.   I struggle with putting my knowledge into action and ultimately… change.   So, I’ve compiled a list of things I plan to do in order to reach a higher level of contentment. 1.        Stop checking Facebook so frequently.   When I need a 10 minute break at work, what do I do?   Check Facebook.   And, there right at my fingertips lies all of my f

I've really been getting into my yoga practices.  Mostly, I believe because I'm trying to not only deepen my practice, but enhance my life through mantras.  (More on that another time.)  Something I'm also trying is to get more involved in things that I'm interested in.  For example, I enjoy yoga.  But, in the past, if someone had asked me to tell them about yoga and practice, I would have told them, "Well... I do a 30 minute at home practice a couple of days a week?"  I think I can go deeper in life, relationships, my thoughts, and my interests.  Hence... I looked up the history of yoga and some common yoga terms that I should be familiar with.   Asanas ("seat") (ah-sahn-ah) : Physical postures of yoga. Chakra: energy center; the basic system has seven chakras (root, sacrum, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye and crown), each of which is associated with a color, element, syllable, significance, etc. Dharma: truth; the teachings o

Yoga did not start out as a form of exercise for ancient man.   Obviously.   But, I was curious, exactly how far back does yoga go?   After reading multiple articles on the subject, one thing that is known for sure is that we really don’t know.  So much of ancient civilization was passed down by word of mouth, from one teacher to the next making it really difficult to determine its true beginning.   One article I read indicates that researchers believe it could date back 10,000 years.   But, the earliest documentation dates back 5,000 years ago to 3,000 B.C.   The Indus-Sarasvati civilization was one of the largest (extending over 300,000 miles) and most advanced in history pre-dating the Romans.   Within the ruins of this ancient civilization, historians have found yogi-like figures carved into stone walls. Yoga can be divided up into four different periods, each with its own unique version of yoga.    Vedic Yoga Preclassical Yoga Classical Yoga Modern or Postcl

It’s Wednesday, and we are officially half way to the weekend.   Yay!   Quarter-end/Year-end/Month-end is in full swing, and I’m just trying to keep up.   This made me smile.   :)

It’s gotten so cold outside within the last week, and it makes we want to snuggle under a warm blanket next to a fire with a hot cup of tea.   I have had this strong desire to drive to some remote cabin in the woods and just be away from people, enjoy the fresh air, read, nap, eat good food, drink good wine, and do yoga.   I mean, who wouldn’t want to spend an extended amount of time in a place that looks like this? But, when I think about finding a place and taking the time that I crave, I realize that it’s not just a week or 10 days that I want to spend doing those things.   I don’t want to come back to reality.   First off, I think I’m lazy.   Second, I’m running away.   When I reflect on it, there are a lot of things I’m running away from.   Mostly, I believe it boils down to the fact that I’m tired of not meeting expectations.   If I’m being honest with myself, it’s not the expectations others put on me, but rather the expectations I have of myself and those expectat

There are some days when the pain of loneliness and the feelings of being unlovable are so damn strong...  I wish I understood better why I'm not enough.

I am a huge fan of the Bridget Jones.   I mean, clearly. I read the third book in the series, Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy maybe a year ago, and absolutely loved it.   I mean, I didn’t like that Helen Fielding killed off Mark Darcy, but the story itself was still really great.   I’ve been periodically checking Google to see what the new movie status was and yesterday I was very pleasantly surprised that the movie has already started filming!! What I found most intriguing about this article in Marie Claire was that the third movie is not based off of the book, but rather Helen Fielding’s columns written eight years ago.   I didn’t even know she had written columns!   And, I call myself I fan.    I have to admit I’m embarrassed that I didn’t know this, and fully intend to catch up on said columns at some point. September 16, 2016 has been marked on my calendar.   I can’t wait!!