Diary of a Spinster and Lunatic

Another heartbreak day Feels like you’re miles away Don’t even need no shade When your sun don’t shine, shine    Too many passin’ dreams Roll by like limousines It’s hard to keep believin’ When they pass you by and by    I know your heart been broke again I know your prayers ain’t been answered yet I know you’re feeling like you got nothing left Well, lift your head, it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet so    Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on Move, keep walkin’ until the mornin’ comes Move, keep walkin’ soldier keep movin’ on And lift your head, it ain’t over yet, ain’t over yet    Echoin’ inside your head Are the words that your sweet momma said “Shoot for the moon, my dear” So you took aim out of this atmosphere Between high stakes and pump fakes You’re feelin’ like you can’t buy a break I can hold your hand, but I can’t turn your eyes to freedom   I know your heart been broke again I know your prayers ain’t been a...

Two weeks ago, I really suffered from some big time negative self-talk.  I went on a cruise centered around Christian music, and while the cruise was amazing, I really felt like I was the black sheep.  My internal voice kept saying that I shouldn't be there, that I was going to corrupt those around me, and that I was simply a lost cause.  I was also worried that my co-workers would be happy to not have me around for a few days.  And, I noticed that my first day back to work, I was already in a really defensive mood. But, knowing that this is just my insecurities rearing its ugly head, helps me to cope.  For me, somehow simply identifying what I'm doing, can help me to stop this negative self-talk.  But, even though these internal discussions with myself make me feel like a bull dog's chew toy, I use it as motivation to continue on my journey of personal growth. Another Monday, and therefore a fresh new week is here.  It's another opportunity to sto...

Several weeks ago we were in the throws of graduation season.  Along with pictures of my friend's children's graduation ceremonies from preschool all the way through high school, there were videos of famous people giving commencement speeches thrown into the mix of my Facebook feed.  There were several that were particularly inspiring.  And, it dawned on me... what would I have told my 18 year old self when I graduated high school, so that I wouldn't have had the struggles that I've dealt with over the past... let's not say how many years. I'm not sure that anything I would have said at that time would have probably cracked through that childlike "I've got this all figured out" way of thinking.  If someone would have told me to self-reflect, be positive, and work for everything you want, I would have told you that I was doing all those things.  The truth is that I probably was doing them all to a small degree, but wasn't seeing all that ways ...

If you had asked me a month ago, how I would define being impatient, I would have looked at it at a very shallow level.  Like, when the interstate becomes a parking lot, or when you are trying to get something done at work, but keep getting interrupted.  I may not have mastered the art of patience yet, but I at least have a deeper, and more meaningful understanding of it.  I have learned that having an understanding of something is a huge part of the process of working past it. For one, we as humans have very unrealistic expectations as far as how long we think it will take us to accomplish something.  Whether it's getting into shape, starting your own business, or becoming a good person, and finding love, we all think it should happen in a much shorter amount of time than it actually will.  And, we get very discouraged when we don't see the results we want, in the time we expect it.  Part of being patient is knowing that good things take time.  They...

Let excellence be your brand… When you are excellent, you become unforgettable.  Doing the right thing, even when  nobody knows you’re doing the right thing will always bring the right thing to you.  ~ Oprah Oprah is just fabulous, isn't she?!  I was so inspired when I read this.  It made me realize how often I don't give 100%.  And, how many times throughout the day I put things off, because it could always be done tomorrow.  Now, when I catch myself putting something off, I'm going to remember this quote, and act differently than I used to.

We are officially half way through the year, and I couldn't tell you what any of my new year's resolutions are.  Luckily, I have them written down.  😉 I'm actually really proud of myself, because without really remembering what my resolutions were, I've made some progress!  I have successfully lost ten pounds.  I went to Philly, and have been more focused on my personal progress, than watching television.  Though, I still think I watch too much. I need to be more committed in regards to challenging myself to learn new things.  While I've done some things, like trying a new exercise and health regimen, committing to a better method to cleaning my apartment, and (for the most part) checked my expectations at the door, allowing me to be more open to learning new things.  But, I can definitely do more.  I'm going to start making monthly goals lists again to make sure that I hold myself accountable, and actually do what I say I'm going to do....

It may be Monday, but tomorrow is a holiday!!  I'm keeping my spirits high, as I walk straight into another week of challenges.  I know that with each challenge it will make me a stronger and more well rounded person.  Take a deep breath.  You got this.