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Intentions


This morning I was feeling really sorry for myself.  I just wanted to cry. 

I constantly feel like a huge disappointment to my friends, family, and co-workers.  The fact that I’m pretty much past child bearing age, meaning that I won’t be giving my parents a grandchild weighs on me.  And, I don’t even know that I want kids!  I was hurt because the one person in the whole world, whom I love and so badly want to make a life with, won’t give me the one thing that I need… a hug.  A two minute snuggle session, just so that I felt like I wasn’t doing everything on my own.  I can’t seem to get time away from work.  I’m constantly busy.  The people that I call friends can't seem to make time for me.  And all this, is just the tip of the iceberg.  (I could seriously go on a self-centered rant for like an hour.)   I was feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted, unable to give anything else.  And, the fact that I couldn’t be excited to chat with some co-workers this morning made me feel guilty.  Then I was sad because I don’t want to be a bad person and mistreat others.  I started to Google how I could look past my own needs and wants and focus on others, making them the priority.  Isn’t that what good people do? 

Then I remembered something that I listened to yesterday while I was working:



It’s not about whether things go according to the plan that you’ve laid out in your head.  It’s about your intention.  As soon as I made that my focus, then I immediately stopped feeling sorry for myself.  The way I interpret what Shauna Shapiro is talking about in the video is that all that really matters is what’s important to you.  

It’s more important to me to strive to be a good person.  I can’t do that when I’m focused on the fact that I’m not getting my way.  I hope I get quicker at remembering this as opposed to affecting other people for an hour with my sour mood.


I was thinking about plastering this all over my cubicle and apartment so I don’t forget.  This idea of intention just really spoke to me this morning.

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