Diary of a Spinster and Lunatic

I’ve been struggling with the idea that I can’t control everything.   Sure, if you asked me, “Can you control everything?”   I would immediately respond with a resounding “no.”   It’s common sense.   But, then why do I have such a problem reacting to things in a negative way when they don’t go as planned or the way I would prefer them to go?   In many ways I still act like a child.   And, as much as I would like to immediately change that… I’m finding it really difficult.   I read that it could be a good idea to write down a personal set of policies and procedures (aka: principles and processes) for responding to situations more maturely.   I certainly don’t think this is an absolute fix for acting immaturely, but I figure it’s a place to start.   I decided to tackle something that plagues me daily: The Morning Person. These people are everywhere.   They’re on the train in the morning, their in my office, and I find t...

Yesterday morning I was in need of a good smile and laugh.  As of late, if I need a pick me up, I turn to Pinterest or Google images to look at some funny animal pictures.  And, in my opinion, they don't disappoint.  I always end up chuckling to myself, and my day is immediately a bit brighter.  Below are some of my favorites. I'm sorry, but is dog shaming not one of the greatest things ever?!

I have issues with food.   You probably wouldn’t think so by looking at me because I’m a size 4, but I’m here to tell you that I do indeed have issues with food regardless of my dress size.   I use food to fill a void in my life.   There are three big ways that I believe that I abuse food.   The first is that I eat when I’m bored.   Essentially, I eat for something to do.   I haven’t left the house all day, so why not go get take-out, or even eat out if I’m in the mood and actually look decent enough to be seen out in public?   The second is that I look for food to make me feel better.   Like, there are days when I’m feeling down and am completely immersed in self-pity, anxiety, or whatever the case may be, and I use food to try to help me pull myself out of it.   Like, today, I want cake.   I want cake BAD.   Or, ice-cream.   The third, is that I eat to the point where I am so full that it hurts.   I just want to t...

Robin Williams has always, ALWAYS been one of my favorite people.  I know a good portion of his movies verbatim and love how he can say something so meaningful, but makes you smile at the same time.  I can't believe it's been a year since his death.  I cried like I lost a member of my own family when I'd heard that he'd past, and I still get teary eyed while watching one of his movies, an old interview, or a stand up routine. In my quest to find a favorite quote of his, I found that no one character that he played, or one-liner that he said could possibly sum up the amazing life that he had and the profound affects that he had on so many people world wide. I never want to forget the quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson that Sarah Michelle Gellar put in an Instagram post to honor Robin Williams: "To laugh often and much; to win the respect of the intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of...

I had several little wins this week.   The first was that I successfully completed several of the items on my weekly list of goals.   There were others that I did not complete at all and a few more that I only give myself partial credit for.   I’m looking forward to adding a few items to next week’s list, to keep this new goal oriented mentality going.   The second was that I successfully went to a social event by myself.   I consider myself to be rather socially awkward, and I’m kind of thinking that it’s mostly in my head.   I have an anxiety about going out by myself and being able to talk to people.   What if they think I’m weird?   What if they don’t like me?   What if they find me uninteresting?   And, what if I stand there with no one to talk to!?   Thus, I normally end up talking myself out of it.   To by honest my socializing was mild at this event.   I chose a canvas and wine event where you can go a...