Diary of a Spinster and Lunatic

OoooOooo! I carved my first pumpkin last night, and it brought back such memories.  I had forgotten what a fresh pumpkin smelled like.  All of a sudden, I was transported back to when my family sat around the island in the kitchen and watched as my Dad did the honors, and carved our family pumpkin.  Thinking about it makes me smile.   I’m feeling rather nostalgic today.   I’ve been thinking of Halloween’s of the past, where I went trick-or-treating with friends, or when I went out partying in college.   The antics, the many costumes, mischief night fun… so many great memories.   There are times when I look back and feel like I really lived.   I don’t want to take those experiences for granted or devalue the things I did.   Sometimes I don’t count my experiences because they doesn’t seem as cool or as bad-ass as something someone else did.   Today, I am grateful.   Grateful for my family and my friends.   For the beauty of fall, and the change of seasons.   Happy Hall

Eight years ago, my roommate lost her job, and decided to move about forty-five minutes away to be closer to her boyfriend.   Thus, I moved into my first apartment by myself.   At the same time, all of my friends got married.   And, I mean all of them.   In eight months, I attended five weddings, three of which I was a bridesmaid.   Financially, it was a very stressful time.   But, it taught me something.   I learned what was important to me, and what I could live without.   Over the years I have gotten a little bit more lax in some areas, largely due to wage increases, but I still “run a tight ship” as I like to tell people.   I track all my expenses in a spreadsheet, so that I know how much money I have to spend through the end of the month.   And, I always make sure to allocate money to my savings account.   I kind of treat it like a bill.   It’s just that instead of sending the money to someone else, I just move a certain amount into my savings account every month.   I’ve

This time of year, I always become bitter.  I’m angry at the fact that I want to go out and purchase some big chunky sweaters, warm winter coats, and some new boots, but I can’t.  Or, rather, I won’t allow myself to.  I become angry that I have to start my holiday prepping months in advance because I can’t afford to drop hundreds and hundreds of dollars during the months of November and December.  I envy my married friends who have a dual income, and can afford to spend a little more freely.  Truth?  I’m assuming that I deserve to be able to work 9-5, and have the lifestyle I want.  I don’t.  I’m assuming that I deserve to purchase all these material items, when in fact, there are some that I don’t really need.  I just want them.  I want to dress a certain way to show that I have more class than people like the guy who lives below me who smokes pot roughly 5 days a week.  Or, the people in my apartment community that leave their trash laying in the parking lot, instead of tak

When life has cut too deep and left you hurting The future you had hoped for is now burning And the dreams you held so tight lost their meaning And you don't know if you'll ever find the healing You're gonna make it You're gonna make it And the night can only last for so long Whatever you're facing If your heart is breaking There's a promise for the ones who just hold on Lift up your eyes and see The sun is rising The sun is rising Every high and every low you're gonna go through You don't have to be afraid I am with you In the moments you're so weak you feel like stopping Let the hope you have light the road you're walking You're gonna make it You're gonna make it The night can only last for so long Whatever you're facing If your heart is breaking There's a promise for the ones who just hold on Lift up your eyes and see The sun is rising Even when you can't imagine how How you're ever gonn

This year has been a year of firsts, and many personal self discoveries. Among other things, I went on my first day trip by myself, tried growing tomatoes, and have hung out at a bar alone.   It feels so good to learn and experience new things, no matter how small they may be.   I’ve really been trying to maintain a state of constant learning.   I used to think that learning always required my nose to be stuck in a book, but it can be done, not only through the act of trying new things, but also by simply paying attention to yourself.   I love that I learn something new about myself almost every day. Now that the weather is turning chilly, I decided to try my hand at baking pumpkin bread.   I’m one of those people that will pin things to my Pinterest Recipes board, but never actually make them.   So, I took a stab at this one , and it turned out really well !   I’m actually going to make this for my family to eat while they’re over for Thanksgiving weekend.   

Alarm clock screaming bare feet hit the floor It’s off to the races everybody out the door I’m feeling like I’m falling behind, it’s a crazy life Ninety miles an hour going fast as I can Trying to push a little harder trying to get the upper hand So much to do in so little time, it’s a crazy life It’s ready, set, go it’s another wild day When the stress is on the rise in my heart I feel You say just (chorus) Breathe, just breathe Come and rest at My feet And be, just be Chaos calls but all you really need Is to just breathe Third cup of joe just to get me through the day Wanna make the most of time but I feel it slip away I wonder if there’s something more to this crazy life I’m busy, busy, busy, and it’s no surprise to see That I only have time for me, me, me There’s gotta be something more to this crazy life I’m hanging on tight to another wild day When it starts to fall apart in my heart I hear You say just (chorus) Breathe, just breathe Com